At first blush they seem so different.
Failure is a label we attach to outcomes that are other than what we decided was ideal.
Loss could be described as an experience of having something or someone that was loved, cherished or relied upon taken away. Grief is a feeling that often comes with loss.
Abundance is the sense of more than enough, enough to share.
I labelled my situation...
In the year I found myself labeling the need to take time out from work to look after myself as a failure. If you have you ever labelled yourself as a failure, even for taking a sick day, then you may be able to relate to this.
I needed to take time out as I was suffering “a touch of depression” as the doctor called it as part of the grief process following my Mother’s death.
I consciously choose to go down the route of counseling, rest and spiritual re-direction rather than medication. I wanted to heal the depression, move on from the grief and deal with unhelpful stored emotions and beliefs from childhood.
I am so grateful that I had the ability to make this choice, the money to take time out and the amazing people who I met who helped me through this extremely challenging and heart wrenching time in my life. I found an abundance of resources to assist me in this healing process.
Ready for life...not for this!
After a few months I started feeling strong enough to get back into work, I craved routine, stability and balance but I knew it wasn’t quite time yet to re-emerge with Journey to Abundance. I didn’t feel ready to hold the space for clients full time in the deep work that I do and I still wasn’t 100% sure what the Journey to Abundance re-emergence needed to look like.
I literally threw up my hands in the air, looked up and said “you show me how to do this. If you want me to help women with their money YOU show me what to do.”
It was within days of that request (command?) that I found a job ad and subsequently re-entered the workforce on a part-time basis. It may come as a shock to some who have been following me for a while to hear I went back to Financial Advising! And most of my clients were women.
I continued to work with a small number of private Journey to Abundance clients as well no more than I could be fully present with.
The company that hired me ticked a lot of boxes and the role felt like a near perfect fit. I couldn’t believe the energy and happiness this choice brought into my world...and then...
....I didn’t make it past month four of a six month probation. I was told my work was excellent but I didn’t fit the culture.
I guess you can’t fit a star shaped peg in a heart shaped hole. And that’s okay. But it did cause me to feel like a failure...at least for a few days...okay maybe a week...and a half...
If you have ever been sacked, fired, made redundant, or not had a contract extended, then you may be able to relate to that feeling of failure, even if your logical mind knows what happened isn't because you were not good enough.
And then...when the universe pushes the transformation....
If you believe at all in divine timing or if you have ever felt a push (which sometimes feels more like a nasty shove) to move towards your greatness then you may find it interesting that the job ended abruptly within days of me fully stepping into my calling and claiming "I am Suzanna and I am an Intuitive Financial Healer for wise and spiritual women".
This past weekend I was away attending yet another Art of Feminine Presence training in Melbourne and I heard someone make a comment about “people who teach abundance without being abundant” and that triggered such enormous feelings of failure once again.
It made me question “am I abundant”. Does everyone think I am not and that I am a failure...and worse a faker?? What right have I to "teach" about money when I clearly haven’t figured it all out?
It was Saturday night, the full moon was beaming down on the earth, storms were raging in Melbourne. I couldn’t sleep, I was thought possessed with the idea that I am a failure, and the feeling of embarrassment; “every one sees it except me”.
I also had a lot of worry that I wouldn't be able to "figure this out", "get it right", and truly be of service in the way my soul is calling me to be.
I was feeling exposed and ashamed. I didn't know how I would wake up the next morning and show my face.
Can you relate to this? Being thought possessed in the night? Overwhelmed with feelings and worry? Sorrow at the thought that your soul’s purpose won’t be able to be expressed and fear that the only option is to do something which is less than what you know you can do?
So what did I do? I pulled out one of the many techniques I use in my ***Intuitive Financial Healing*** with clients and used it on myself!
I used a simple belief change process which required me to confront the belief “I am a failure”. The allowed me to defuse the emotion of it and integrate it into my being. Within minutes the feeling shifted. I was peaceful. I went back to bed and fell asleep.
I learned something from this experience. Actually I learned a lot of somethings...
There have been losses in my life. But there really hasn’t been any failure.
Success literally means “that which comes next”. As long as we continue to take action and get some results we are creating success.
What I learned....
If I can make the choice to take time out because my good financial decisions of the past afford me this freedom then I am a success.
If I can throw my hands up in the air and ask for direction from spirit and follow it then I am a success.
If I can trust to re-enter a career, after 3 years, that I had all but turned my back on and nail the actual work aspect of it then I am a success.
If I can hold my head up high after they let me go and look back on my recent job with gratitude and warmth for everyone involved then I am a success.
If I can share my private struggles, what I have learned from them, and be this publicly vulnerable then I am a success.
If I can keep my dreams of helping women in my heart even when I am at the outer limit of what I think I can handle then I am a success.
If I can allow my work in Journey to Abundance to shift into something much deeper, step into and own that what I actually do is facilitate ***Intuitive Financial Healing*** then I am a success.
If I can be honest enough with myself to question my own integrity and remind myself that I define what success and abundance looks like for me then I really am a success. And I don’t need anyone else to agree with me to own that for myself.
If I have enough confidence, belief and inspiration to transform my self value, my self belief and my relationship with money and more than enough left over to share with you then I am abundant!!!
And I bet if you reached into your soul, into your truth, you would also find at least 1001 reasons why you are a success and why you are already abundant as well, even if it doesn’t always look and feel that way on the surface.
So what do failure, loss and abundance have in common for you?
To your happiness, success & harmony,
Journey to Abundance